Luxury Goods Observer T-Shirts

Fake Review

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"I just wonder if the brand name is too obvious."

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

Top model

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

'The $1.5 trillion deficit wouldn't sound nearly as bad, if they expressed it in bottles of Chateau Lafite Rothschild.'

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'So let's look at motivation. Is 'market share' what gets you up in the morning, or is it something else?'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."

"I think he had the idea he was looking at costume jewelry."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

'Got anything for around

'Sweetie, don't play with that. It was very expensive.'

The Monarchy and the BBC

Who wouldn't keep a footman?

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