Luxury Dining Humor Fans Pillows

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'What's the special?'

'Sorry, smile's off...'

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'Just bring us your best beers-all of 'em.'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

'It's called Les Restes. It's French for leftovers.'

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

"Hunger is an illusion. I'll have a zenwich."

'Is everything O.K.?'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'

Please note that our menu items have changed. For starters, press or say 1. For main courses, press or say 2. For desserts, ..........'

"Who ordered the Manhattan?"

Waiter says to customer: 'Yes sir, that is the seafood platter. If you wanted something on it you should have said.'

A waiter says:'You guys know you're supposed to text me when you're ready right?' the patrons are dead . . .