Luxurious Afterlife Lover Gifts

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"All we have left is standing room only."

New Shoes.

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

The Reaper's Arms

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Woman thinking about luxuries.