Luxurious Afterlife Lover Gifts

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Surgery up here is free!"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

New Shoes.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

The Reaper's Arms

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Kensington Fluffies

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."