Lush Legend Gifts

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"Walt Disney on ice."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'You can't come in here with that.'

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Shore fishing requires threading the needle.

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

Suburban Legend

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

Romulus and Remus

My first mistake.

'... But of course, if there's something more interesting outside.'

'You've played enough. Why don't you reel him in now?'

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

There are more things to life than fishing...but I ingore them.

"I thought I'd go slowly - maybe start with a few stuffed animals in the corner."

The Specimen Hunter

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'Right lad. This is your first night on the beat. I want you to walk through the graveyard without whistling.'

"Getting back across the road is gonna be the hard part."

"The beginning of another urban legend."

A man sits in an armchair admiring his little pickers and trophies of litter he has picked up which are displayed on the wall.

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."