Lunch Strategist T-Shirts

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Chez Nous Menu

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

Making healthy eating bearable.

'One businessman's lunch-on-the-rocks and one businessman's special straight-up.'

"I'm feeling quite generous today, so what do you say we all go out to lunch huh? Dawson's treat."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"I brought my lunch."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

"Guac-A-Mole"

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"Lunch!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."