Snack Strategist T-Shirts

Express Lane - Eat this.

Rodin's Thinker in front of refrigerator.

'It finally happened. The school hired a nutritionist and I really did flunk lunch.'

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"I'll trade you two of my chocolate bars for five of your cigarettes."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"You said I could have one cookie before dinner."

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

"Man, I love roughing it out here. . . but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'Pretzel?'

'I realize the odds of a plain and a jelly-filled donut getting out of here in broad daylight are slim to none, but we'll NEVER make it if you don't get a grip on yourself!'

'Stick to this diet for awhile -- you're not strong enough for health food yet.'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Little did George realize, he was about to experience a seasoning ending injury.

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

'When I say 'Break', that means to step-back.'

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

'Memo to the board: downgrade blueberry muffins to oatmeal cookies - make that popcorn - and call the meeting to order.'

'I've been sticking to two diets. The 'eat in the morning' diet and the 'eat in the afternoon' one.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Books are useful when you're reaching for the stars!"

Build Your Own Sandwich/Salad

"When he needs to, Ed can really multitask!"

"Every time I go near the refrigerator, my fitness app somehow locks it. I think they're both conspiring against me."

"Sorry, my calendar is full."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Can't they compromise and sell candy apples?"

"Psst... You could always buy another lunch at lunchtime."