Mealtime Strategist T-Shirts

Will My Kid Eat This?

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

Pull and all nighter...

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Michael, do your dinner."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'Life, like lunch, is full of difficult choices.'

Standoff

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'It's going to be a long school year...'

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"He usually doesn't see anybody without an appointment, but since you brought pizza ..."

'A simple 'I like mine hard boiled' would have done!'

'What would Anthony Bourdain order?'

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"Jake, please hold my calls and fetch my Cheetos gloves."

'Here's our strategy...for your last meal order all-you-can-eat and eat it VERY SLOWLY!'