Lunch Strategist Gifts

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Chez Nous Menu

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"I'm feeling quite generous today, so what do you say we all go out to lunch huh? Dawson's treat."

Making healthy eating bearable.

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'One businessman's lunch-on-the-rocks and one businessman's special straight-up.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"I brought my lunch."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Lunch!"

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"