Lunch Room Improviser Gifts

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"Hi Mike, how's the Leprosy research going?"

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'Why can't you just use the microwave like everyone else?'

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

Thesaurus Editors Applicants,Candidates,Entrants,Inquirers,Job-seekers.

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

Job Safety - Lunch.

At least you got a 'works well with food grade' in lunchroom.

Inflate a job!

Piano desk.

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

"Since it's Easter I'll have a peanut butter and jelly bean sandwich."

'We're out of pheasant under glass, M'sieur — is duck soup close enough?'

'Okay...who put my lunch through the mass spectrometer?'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

"Our thought was that you would just brown-bag it."