Waiting Room Improviser Gifts

'Yes I did say you needed a more interesting waiting room...however, a juggler and guitarist isn't what I had in mind.'

Jazz is Invented

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Medical Center.

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Piano desk.

'It's a salesman selling seven year old magazines for your waiting room.'

Inflate a job!

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

Zoom Backdrop

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

Urologist waiting room surprise.

'No, I'm not here to see the doctor-just the magazines.'

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

'Oh, I don't have an appointment to see the doctor. I'm doing a report on magazine trends in the 1970's.'

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'

'Our back issues of magazines don't go back this far. Have you tried your doctor's waiting room?'

"I know the organ is broken, but I was kind of hoping you knew how to play the guitar."

Bathroom DIY

"My age is 55 but when I came in I was still 54..."

'Age please sir?' - 'You mean now, or when I first got here?'

"Guess which one's here for the hemorrhoid treatment."