Luging Gifts

Luge Alert

Sochi. What happened to you? One minute I was coming down the track, having a great run and I just flew off my sled! It's not fair --- I'm better than the guys who won medals! This guy with the aches and pains all over is a real poor sport. Don't say it, Ernie! He's a sore luger!

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

Superheroes take a selfie

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'The Questioner'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Lessons in Prehistory.

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"It's a play on words."

Wordplay: In The Bag.