Lucky Speculator Gifts

To complete your withdrawal, select denomination. $20's $10's Heads Tails

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

Department of Pure Speculation.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Wall Street Down

Stock Market Adventure

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

The tumbling dice...

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

"In the tech sector, markets reacted strongly to news that ToadNoggle would acquire Zeepzer, ending rumors of a hostile takeover by FiffleBunny."

One blade of grass shouting to the others. 'Thems that get shat upon 'ill be tha lucky ones!'

Sell the Universe !

'Gesundheit.'

'Ms Dolan, when hanging up, please stop wishing clients a happy recession.'

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

"Tonight's lotto numbers are..."

'I see your investments going up but it's not clear which ones or when.'

'The gentleman in the back bids one arm. The is now one arm. Will anybody give me an arm and a leg.'

'Stocks dropped on news Greenspan's memoirs will contain no insider trading information...'