Lucky Speculator Pillows

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Department of Pure Speculation.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Wall Street Down

Stock Market Adventure

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

The tumbling dice...

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

One blade of grass shouting to the others. 'Thems that get shat upon 'ill be tha lucky ones!'

'Ms Dolan, when hanging up, please stop wishing clients a happy recession.'

"In the tech sector, markets reacted strongly to news that ToadNoggle would acquire Zeepzer, ending rumors of a hostile takeover by FiffleBunny."

'Gesundheit.'

Sell the Universe !

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

"Tonight's lotto numbers are..."

'I see your investments going up but it's not clear which ones or when.'

'Stocks dropped on news Greenspan's memoirs will contain no insider trading information...'

'The gentleman in the back bids one arm. The is now one arm. Will anybody give me an arm and a leg.'

THE RIGHT PLACE A THE RIGHT TIME, 'It says they're closed for inventory.'