Future Speculator Gifts

Stock Market Adventure

"Another alternative is to freeze you until some future insurance company would pay for your medical procedure."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

'The market dropped sharply on the rumor that new sell off rumors in the financial sector will lead to more widespread rumors...'

Department of Pure Speculation.

Wall Street Down

'I got that, Ms. Rafferty... now can we get on to student loans?'

"Don't worry, all the politicians are promising that we have a bright future ahead of us..."

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

How to live on 25 cents a week allowance.

"The side effects of this experimental medication are; happiness, improved eye sight and increased strength. . . Oh well, back to the drawing board."

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

"...And that's the studio where we filmed the Moon Landing..."

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

The tumbling dice...

Investment firm: National division/International Division/Universal Division.

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

"Someday, son, you're going to inherit a great deal of money. It's called 'Head Start'."

"In the tech sector, markets reacted strongly to news that ToadNoggle would acquire Zeepzer, ending rumors of a hostile takeover by FiffleBunny."