Smoke Speculator Gifts

Smokers outside toy factory with boy blowing pipe bubbles.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Professional woman in pub

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

Pollution Look

'The market dropped sharply on the rumor that new sell off rumors in the financial sector will lead to more widespread rumors...'

Department of Pure Speculation.

Wall Street Down

Stock Market Adventure

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

"...And that's the studio where we filmed the Moon Landing..."

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

The tumbling dice...

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

'Been toying with commodities again, have we?'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

"In the tech sector, markets reacted strongly to news that ToadNoggle would acquire Zeepzer, ending rumors of a hostile takeover by FiffleBunny."

Sell the Universe !

'Gesundheit.'

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

Smokers.

"Tonight's lotto numbers are..."

'Isn't it bad for you?...no I haven't managed to light one yet!'

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

To complete your withdrawal, select denomination. $20's $10's Heads Tails