Lucky Golfer Gifts

'... And another brand-new Titleist. And another... and another! Man, I can't believe my luck!'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

God in the bunker.

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

Too many beers at lunch?

"One More Swing."

Golfer hitting a die.

Pest control.

Disturbed looking individual at Crazy Golf: 'One, please.'

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

"I'd like to take it for a test drive."

'You told me to address the ball, so I did!'

'It takes more than a stormy day to keep me off the green...'

Golfing Accident

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

Golf mole

Why you should never take a retriever golfing.

Guru to guru playing golf: 'I don't think you're cut out for this life'.

Have a swinging Christmas!

'Thank God its Monday!'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

'How did the first game go?' - 'I hit a ball in one.'