Thrifty Golfer Gifts

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

God in the bunker.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"C'mere, space heater."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

'Don't spend it all at once.'

Santa playing golf.

Kenny's new ice-cube-pouch body suit helped him reduce his air-conditioning costs.

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'