Thrifty Golfer Gifts

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'Don't spend it all at once.'

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Santa playing golf.