Lucky Gambler Gifts

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"What a rip off! We stole 6,000 lottery scratch cards and only won three quid!"

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Could someone just tell me if I win anything?'

'Twas the night after Christmas.

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

'Whoever's guess is closest to the time when the last needle falls off the tree wins the hundred-dollar pool!'

'Sorry, this machine only takes small bills.'

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

If his I.Q. is based on guessing the right answers, perhaps we could assume he'll go through life being a remarkably successful guesser.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

Each Way Bet

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

'Well, that's 3 of my 7-a-day.'

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

Billy strip: dad doesn't get to shuffle the horses.

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

'THis is where the boys used to gamble. By the looks of things, they lost a lot more than just their shirts.'

'... And another brand-new Titleist. And another... and another! Man, I can't believe my luck!'

"I didn't stop when the fun stopped."

"Wow, Tia Carmen! This is a big shrine!"

"Do all your casinos have these?"

"Here's that lottery ticket I told you about! I matched all but five numbers! And I bought it on Thursday instead of Tuesday! Other than that, I would have won!"