Luck Ponderer Pillows

'Just my rotten luck - on the day I win the lottery, the world currency system collapsed.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Death coach..."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

Thinking and thinking backwards.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I say we try it.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I'll have dessert first."

Baxter finally gets a life

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Wally dozes off in the middle of his mid-life crisis.

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

"Is there a God?"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

Answers to last week's brain-teasers