Loyal Subject Gifts

'Sure, son, they're rabble -- but the rabble are an essential part of the economy.'

Playing Fetch.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'Not here - home!'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Personal Assistants.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Best friends without borders.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"If I'm your best friend, how come you never offer me a beer?"

"I need for you to go to bat for me again, Tim. And this time, could you do it without adjusting yourself?"

'Books that stayed books.'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

Non-metric speak your weight machine

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

Snowman about melting snowman: 'Just once I'd like to meet someone who isn't a fair weather friend.'

'All those years you struggled financially, I stood by you. It's my turn for a little piece of the pie.'

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

'He was a very good dog.'