Loyal Customer Specialist Pillows

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Others will fight for you

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

Personal Assistants.

Best friends without borders.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

You've Got Mail

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Football addict

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce