Customer Loyalty Specialist Pillows

"This is the director of our customer loyalty program."

Others will fight for you

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Please feel free to browse."

"Can I interest you in our frequent flyer scheme?"

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

You've Got Mail

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

The whole club stands behind the coach...

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'Before the meeting starts let's all sing the company song.'

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'OK, Mr. Altruism, real fast, name three selling points of loyalty that don't involve food.'

Documentary Proof - A Dog Lost hundreds of feet from home can easily find his way back.