Loyal Client Gifts

"His hairdresser died last year, and he won't go to anyone else."

Others will fight for you

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

Personal Assistants.

Best friends without borders.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

"You've been a virtuous employee, Thornhill, and that is it's own reward."

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

Football addict

"I need for you to go to bat for me again, Tim. And this time, could you do it without adjusting yourself?"

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

"If I'm your best friend, how come you never offer me a beer?"

'We're still crazy then ...'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'