Low-impact Sports Gifts

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Football Fans

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'My feet are killing me.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

The MBA Draft

Bowled over again!

"Portrait of a Lady"

Rage.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Church for sports worshipers.

Holiday time.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Golfing Boss

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'