Loves Surreal Humor Gifts

"Larry! Swine flu!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

"Tell me more about the voices in your neck."

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

A Grazing Shark

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

A bunch of human artists are painting a skull which is sitting on a stool, while a nearby tree is painting the stool.

Museum Guard Portrait

"All we seem to be catching is little ones. We must be too close to their spawning grounds."

'I think we've finally managed to cure your hallucinations.'

A postal worker opens a bag of air mail.

"It's good luck."

Meter Maid

An artist waits to ambush an easel

Apple white paint results in pictures of apples.

Man Exchanges Heads In Desk Trays

"The doctors...say...they've never...seen...another case quite...like...it."

'Oh, that's out piano tuna.'

'Eleven foot poles - For things you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole...'

'Your attention everybody! -- There's a 'severe foot watch' in effect until four o'clock this afternoon.'

"That was one strange and confusing competition."

'Hmm... The weather report says we're going to get a foot of snow!'

Therapist's Swatter

'Now, just for laughs, let's give him the dog brain and see what happens.'

Scream Shrink

Man riding in a hot air balloon sees comic balloons floating by.

Fish in the Rain

"Thank God we're insured"