Loves Office Humor Gifts

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

Golfing Boss

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Work Parfait

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."