Lovers Of Witty Poetry Gifts

'In your poem, you refer to my eyes as beautiful golf balls, and my hair as fairway grass. Are you, by chance, a golfer?'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

Jorge Luis Borges

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," "Of all the comic strips in all the newspapers in all the world, you walk into mine." ? ? ?

A Poet

William Wordsworth

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

Geoffrey Chaucer

"Poetry? Philosophy? Just what kind of dinner conversation do you want?"

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

Doreen beneath this brutish exterior beats the heart of a poet..I also have his kidneys and I think maybe his gall bladder,but I'm not sure.

"I now pronounce you husband and husband."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Home Business - Wife.

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

"It's the best work you've ever done. Still pretty awful."

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

'You look lovely today.'

You have nothing to fear but fear itself, Al. I realize that, Dr. Kapuchnik. That's why I always have my fear with a side of fries.

Snowmen during the Stone Age...

Updated Classic: The Waistland

Limos, trucks, S.U.V.s, rush past me in a breeze. Passing by... without a nod, while here I stand playing God...'

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'