Lovers Of Witty Banter Gifts

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'A cheeky red?'

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

A lesson in wit

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

Home Business - Wife.

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

"Any chance of some credit?"

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

'As soon as we exchaged vows we started exchanging barbs.'

A young man replying cheekily to an older gentleman

"No offense..."

You must be this tall to bump head on sign.

'If you are a complete pessimist does it mean you are positively negative!'

"You're a plumber, I'm a doctor. Now that I've given you some free medical advice, how about stepping into my kitchen and fixing my leaky faucet?"

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

'Your toilet isn't working!! Can you hold?'

"How about I give you a black eye?"