Lovers Of Rhetorical Humor Gifts

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your money."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

U of Debt

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Multi-Generational Books

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"She wishes to range free!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Information...political rhetoric

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

The Great Leap Forward

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Police film evidence

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Jack in the box on strike.