Lovers Of Rhetorical Humor Gifts

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your money."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

U of Debt

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Multi-Generational Books

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"She wishes to range free!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Information...political rhetoric

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Police film evidence

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Jack in the box on strike.

The White House: Some Assembly Required.