Lovers Of Punny Humor Pillows

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'There's a gentleman here for a cleaning, Doctor. It's unclear whose.'

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

Headless Man

'Alright alright, I was joking: I won't deliver you to a couple of mongooses...'

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

'Your toilet isn't working!! Can you hold?'

"D'you know I believe you're right - there isn't any water in here!"

'You know it's true what they say, Larry: Hell hath no fury like a potato scorned.'