Lover Of Punny Jokes Pillows

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

'I think my back is baroque!'

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

Before the wheel.

Early Greek Humor. I love Aristotle, but oh, Eu-clid!

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'Cheetah!'

'I didn't realize you were literally going to wear a little black number!'

"Late, as usual."

'Wait, Jethro! In the hanky directions for use it reads, FIRST clean your specs, THEN clean your nose!'

Two worms are looking at a large apple in a garbage pile - 'That's the 'big apple' son... if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere!'

Picking Brains

SALT- The horror movie

In hindsight, Giovanni realised that it was probably a bad idea hiring a builder with a short leg!