Lover Of Punny Jokes Pillows

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

'I think my back is baroque!'

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

Before the wheel.

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'Cheetah!'

'I didn't realize you were literally going to wear a little black number!'

"Late, as usual."

Picking Brains

SALT- The horror movie

Two worms are looking at a large apple in a garbage pile - 'That's the 'big apple' son... if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere!'

'Wait, Jethro! In the hanky directions for use it reads, FIRST clean your specs, THEN clean your nose!'

In hindsight, Giovanni realised that it was probably a bad idea hiring a builder with a short leg!

Woman tanning at beach pops out of a giant toaster.