Lover Of Witty Quotes Gifts

To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," "Of all the comic strips in all the newspapers in all the world, you walk into mine." ? ? ?

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"I love this time of year."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

Cold caller.

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

G.K. Chesterton.

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

Home Business - Wife.

Tom Bowler

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

Penny for your lack of thoughts.

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."