Lover Of Showbiz Quirks Gifts

'I told you Ko-ko that you don't have to even think of retirement - the phone stopped ringing for you years ago!'

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Music Hall Dancers

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Hollywood producer.

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'I'm a star!'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Bette Midler

Animal Actors

TV stage door

Child star Fatty Deposits humiliates Zippy, The Wonderdog, on the set of their latest movie, 'Too Cute For Comfort'....

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

Live the Dream!

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

"Those who can can, dance."

'You showbiz types can never make intelligent conversation!'

"You may now phony show-biz kiss the bride."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"Looks like Broadway's back."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'