Lover Of Quirky Instructions T-Shirts

"Remember, it's dong after ding except when it's bling. Then it's bong."

The Food Chain

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

Maternity ward.

Manual Worker

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

'It's a bill collector!'

Penny Farthing Tricycle

"The recipe says if you're out of eye of newt you can substitute it with two bat gizzards."

'I'd say your financial future is looking bright.'

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

"Get your knockoff pretzels."

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

Puppet Show from the Stocks

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

The Grim Reaper's pets.

Suggestion box with two slots like a toaster, labeled "Suggestions (and toast)."

'Hmmmm! Third time he's been back he MUST be keen.'

Fish who dropped out of the school

Advanced Origami

'Oh... hell!' (fish bowl)

Role Reversal

The Artists Fall-Back Career 'It's an easy gig to get once you stop waxing.'

'Well, I don't suppose it'll be the last project to go completely wrong!'

The obvious

Drain cleaning

Pavlov's snake: 'It was months before I discovered snakes are deaf.'

This is Umpopa, a witch doctor - he says he knows how to shrink hemorrhoids.

'Section 9c - 'Kill yourself if this clock radio malfunctions' '

Making the best of it

"I'd like you to hop up and down on one foot and perhaps sing a little childhood ditty."