Lover Of Psychology Satire Gifts

"You don't need a second opinion. I told MY therapist all about you and she agrees you're nuts!"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I feel your pain level."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"The physicists doubt it, the chemists want to change it, the psychologists are trying to interpret it and the biologists don't care."

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

The Modern Damocles -

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.