Humor In Psychology Fan Gifts

"I feel rotten. I'm always the last one in."

X-ray Psychology.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Some scents are nonsense.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

'You're too aggressive.'

"He's a mental-health critic."

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

"This guilt complex is killing me!"

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

"Where do my needs fit into your little hierarchy, Maslow?"

Sensory confusion syndrome.

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

Oh, don't be a big baby, Al. I resent that remark, Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply that

"I was on a roll at first. Then, things began to unravel, and my life just went down the drain."

'Just because I like books does not mean I'm insecure.'

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

'That was the view of the right side of my brain...now the view from the left side...'

Reverse Psychology: "It's not not gaslighting."

'Men are from one branch of Starbucks, women from another.'

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

'Maybe it isn't me. Maybe it's the rest of the world that's gone insane.'

"Believe me, you're just thinking about it too much."