Fan Of Psychological Satire Gifts

"Thank you for trusting and opening up today Dave. That's what therapy is all about. We'll expound on your sexual attraction to your gold fish in our next session, and also discuss in more detail your overwhelming desire to sleep with three cucumbers."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Ghostwriting the Bible

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Modern Damocles -

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

Knights of the Round Whatever

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

"He's a mental-health critic."

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

Art Vandalism

John Banville

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

'It was a split decision.'

'Never to be seen again!"

Might Versus Right.

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

". . . and now, the weather."

A monk finds a little demon in the spine of his holy bible.