Lover Of Morbid Humor Pillows

"I dunno... there's just a stench of death about the place."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

Bureau of the Damned

"From this you make a living?"

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

'Can I get a box for this?'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Pranking Zombies

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Death Watch

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

'Let's set aside the role as the 'Bringer of Death' and explore your desire to dance,'

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

'Bad man... you're a bad man!'

"Back in 15 min."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

Golfer in a tree.

'He said there's a 40-minute wait for non-smoking.'

The Grim Rapper

'We've given you a brain scan and we can't find anything.'

"I am now cutting all my rude remarks about the patient from her file."

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

'Really? We've only been here thirty minutes? Heck, it seems like an eternity.'

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."