Lover Of Funny Solutions Gifts

Back scratcher

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Man rolling ball up a hill

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"It's weeder's elbow."

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

Buoyancy Weight

"Please ... let me get a new hair dryer!"

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'

"We forgot to get spark plugs -- I'll drive."

"You say you don't own a weapon...so what's with all this ammo in your closet?"

'You say that when you wake up you feel dizzy for 10 minutes? I suggest that you wake up 10 minutes later.'

Royal Flush

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

"It's an invitation to your brother's second wedding and even the stamp has been used again!"

A Salesperson's Dilemma

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo...

"All you need is a little breeze to keep the midges at bay."

"No, this isn't low temperature physics. He's just too cheap to turn on the heat."

"Are you sure this is what the man who attacked you looked like?"

'Fights have been down 68 percent since we've had them do an hour of river dancing every morning.'

Over Eater's Anonymous.

Tired of counting sheep, Al tries counting Ernest Borgnines.

'I got a good buy on it from army surplus, and it should solve my traffic problems.'

'I've turned the house upside down, but I still can't find my car keys!'

"If you give me £1.00, I'll get him to eat your homework for you."

A man throws a stick for a dog to hang himself.