Lover Of Existential Humor Gifts

Last Real Tough-Minded Thinking for 200 Miles

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"I'm sorry, Mister Mulligan is dead. . . would you care to wait?"

"I thought the snow would never start"

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Reptilian trauma.

'I think you'd enjoy it even more if you understood Newton's Laws of Motion.'

Tombstone that says I Have No Life

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

"Stick what up?"

"Life"

Is there life after digestion?

"Hurry up! - You don't have all day. . ."

"Here I am, Mother, gainfully and meaningfully employed, and all you can do is criticize."

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

"I think therefore I am on antidepressants."

Frequently Asked Questions

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'