Lover Of Clever Comebacks Gifts

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

'What are you implying?'

'Reinventing myself.'

Factory Rejects Inc.

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

'My homework? Why, at home.'

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"He killed in rehab."

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

"Yep, I was the little runt you used to tease all the time! Guess what, I had a late growth spurt..."

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

Y2K: It was 1999. All that year tension had been building. News reports claimed that due to a programming glitch, on New Year's Eve, computers worldwide could malfunction. . .

Debating Society. This is not like sports. "Comeback performer of the year" means something different here.

I want to thank you for offering to walk me home. I'd invite you in, but I don't really live here.

'Where have you been all my life?'

'I'm considering a comeback...'