Lover Of Cheeky Tales Gifts

"Well, he can't have gone far. He knows he's not allowed to go up the stairs."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Golf escape.

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

'You had me at hell.'

'How was your luck, dear?'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'Pavlov's first experiment'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

Big Bob knew it was wrong, but gosh darn it, someone had to stick up for the little guy.

"Yes, I'm the good fairy but I can grant only one wish instead of three. Budget cuts, you know?"

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

'You only want to do it when people are watching.'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Let's play hide-the-sausage!

"Believe me, you don't want to know where it all comes from."

Ass-teroids

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

"All day, every day—'There's a goddam fly in here!' It's so hurtful."

"There's Colonel Clapworthy alone with his memories - dirty old devil!"

"OK, he's hooked–now reel him in."

'Something's wrong here.'

Scratch and Sniff Greeting Cards

'Oh look, it's Mr Palmer.'

'Thanks for kissing me so that I turned from a frog into a prince! May I have French flies with that?'