Lover Of Autumn Humor Gifts

'Do you want the leaf blower?'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"Little help?"

"That's very offensive."

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"Trick or treat?"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

Witch Bonfire

Basic Instinct

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Brilliant reds & oranges. Muted golds & ochres.

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Bonfire

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

Snowman Romance

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

The Itchy Back

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

Executive Conkers.

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

"Mmm... Pumpkin spiced!"

"I'm confused. We were trained to do our business outside, but then they bring in a tree that glows."

Christmas 2020

How to Tell Spring is Here.

"You think your job is hard? I have to remember which date Easter falls on each year."

"Boy would you look at those colors? It's amazing, isn't it?"

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."