Fall Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"Little help?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Needs more kale.'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

Snowman Romance

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

The Itchy Back

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

How to Tell Spring is Here.

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

See U Next Year

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"These chilly autumn afternoons remind me of what a witch you can be."

"OK. You can wait until the last drop melts before you get on the scale."

"Never lose your cool."

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

Melted Snowmen for Sale.

"This doesn't feel right..."

Gesundheit! - a christmas tree should be fresh.

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"