Fall Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"Little help?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Needs more kale.'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Snowman Romance

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

The Itchy Back

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

How to Tell Spring is Here.

'Twitter Tweet'

See U Next Year

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

Hey, I told you - Keep sticking your nose in other people's business, and one day it's stay that way.

"These chilly autumn afternoons remind me of what a witch you can be."

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

"OK. You can wait until the last drop melts before you get on the scale."

"This doesn't feel right..."

Gesundheit! - a christmas tree should be fresh.

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

Ahh, Spring! A time of growth, a time of green, a time for birdies to be seen. A time for hope across the land, a time for hankies close at hand! Aah! CHOO!

"Never lose your cool."

"Oi! You little fucker!"