Love Sage Pillows

"I'm only attracted to older women."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

One way only.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Jeez, Alice, at least Google him first."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

Distilleries Association

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"I'm turned off by the womanizing."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

"The meaning of life? Let me Google that for you."

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'