Love Sage Pillows

"I'm only attracted to older women."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

One way only.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

Distilleries Association

'The new teacher in our school is single and cute but he has commitment issues. He's changed his Internet service provider six times.'

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"I'm turned off by the womanizing."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.