Silver Sage Pillows

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

One way only.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

"I hope it's not contagious."

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

Distilleries Association

"Don't be discouraged. Do it over, monitor the results...write your paper."

"It needs more old salt."

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

How Scientists Work

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

'No, sorry, money is the root of all evil!'

'I just love the change of seasons.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."