Love's Own Jester Gifts

'I'm not surprised - she's NEVER been on time yet!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'He does.'

Gooseberry Fool...

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"Gee, I never saw that coming."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Books / Coffee table books

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

The crackdown on slapstick continues.

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

'You told me I should be more affectionate, so I got myself two girlfriends!'