Love Poetry Critic Pillows

'I'm a divorce lawyer. That helps a lot because as a sideline, I'm writing love poems.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Dating an English Major

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

The Book Lover

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Swing me with your words."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

Then out in the yard, there arose such a grito that I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.

A rose is a rose is a rose

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

Cherub tries to prevent a man from declaring his love for a woman.

'Marriage ain't for this puppy. I'm way too romantic.'

"I care that you care that I care about you caring... but I'm not sure if your caring is enough caring to make up for what I'm not caring enough about."

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

"He's all mine. Life is good."

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'

'She loves me, she loves me not. Maybe, who cares, what the hey!'

"Come back—I can change!"

"I'm basically a Rimbaudist, but with a little Ferlinghetti thrown in on my father's side."