Love Language Expert Gifts

"I want to tell someone she's wonderful, I miss her and think about her all the time, without actually saying she' wonderful, I miss her and think about her all the time."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

Boyfriend of the Month.

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"You're the woman of one of my dreams."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

The Stages of Wine

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?

It was a match made in heaven.

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"All parents fight."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."