Love Linguist Gifts

'I need a card that sends a very clear mixed message.'

"It was supposed to be 'John loves Lisa.' "

'When it comes to the language of love, he's dyslexic.'

"I don't see myself bringing children into a world where I can't get a date."

"And do you, Babe, take Babe to be your lawfully wedded Babe until death do you un-Babe?"

'I said 'I'm sorry. I Love You.' Not 'Im sorry I love You'.'

'What really bugs me, is that we could be a cute couple, if it weren't for you.'

"Yo, baby, what's wrong? I thought you said you wanted to check out my crib?!"

"Yes, I said that a man should be able to show his emotions but..."

It's a shared responsibility... you're not right and I'm not wrong.

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

I will study my speling words...

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?